I learned many life lessons before I was even in Kindergarten.
Witnessing my mother abuse drugs and alcohol as a child prepared me for life’s many battles. I knew early on this road called life would not be a walk in the park. I witnessed and experienced things that no child should have to endure, but it’s made me an amazing person. With compassion but tough skin. Plus I ain’t no fool and can peek game a mile away. (Thanks, Mom)
See, there are so many roads I did not go down because I witnessed my mother struggle down that same block. With today’s drug culture so widely accepted, I’m grateful to know first hand where Molly and Percocet can lead you. Even when I struggled with alcohol, there’s was always a realistic image in my head that reminded me of how addiction can, in fact, take over your life. This is the reason I took control over my life in 2013, after struggling with alcohol.
The Power of Forgiveness
I realized that parents are people. I’m 30 years old and I could not imagine having to care for a child. Let alone 3 while battling a drug addiction. Once I came to that realization, it was much easier to forgive my mom for her past mistakes. She did her best with the circumstances given.
Forgiveness is freeing!! I know what it’s like to walk around harboring pain, blame, and resentment. But I also know how good it feels to let them go. Forgiveness is not just for the other person, it’s mainly for you. Sometimes we don’t know how heavy that monkey on our back is until we put his ass down. You know the phrase, ” I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. ” It’s really a weight holding us down. Walking around with resentment towards others hurts us way more than it hurts the other person.
It leaves us stuck in the past and it affects every other relationship we have, whether we realize it or not.
If I continued to be upset with my mother about all the May 30ths (the day I was born) my mother missed I would miss out on all the future born days we could celebrate. Like this one below.
Today my mother has 19 years sober!
She’s also an advocate of mental health and homelessness in Los Angeles, CA. And recently did a TED Talk. My – Mom- did-a-TED-Talk! I am so very proud of her. There were times when I was so ashamed of her that I told my friends Flo Jo’ was my mom. I am grateful for Augusta Hawkins Mental Health Services, I am grateful for my Mikki ( my mom’s sponsor.)
As a little girl, every single day I would ask God to deliver my mother, and he did. I am sharing this story with the other little girls ( or grown women) missing their moms.
- Stay strong and remain hopeful.
- Realize that your parent’s problems have nothing to do with you.
- And if & when they get their selves together be gentle with them.
- Seek therapy ( it works if you work it!!)
- Remember to take care of yourself. Don’t self-medicate ( it doesn’t help but makes matters worst)