My name is Jasmine and I am a flake. There, I said it. It’s a default of character of mine that I’m currently working on.
If I’ve ever flaked on you, here’s why. (Please forgive me!)
1. I don’t always think before I speak. So, “Yeah! Sure! ” comes out before I even know that I agreed.
2. It’s usually a social event. Anyone that knows me knows I can be the life of the party and I’m usually expected to be as such. That requires a lot of energy. What many people fail to realize about me is that, I spend a lot of time alone. That is why I have this energy because I am able to recharge. If I’m around a lot of people I often leave feeling drained. This is why I burn sage! I’m very sensitive to other people’s energy. I also know if I am at a place that I don’t want to be, my face says it all. I am aware of this (now) and only go to places when I’m feeling 100.
3. My Time management is horrible.
I usually procrastinate and wait til the last minute to handle things. Sometimes I realize I didn’t properly prepare become overwhelmed and just take a nap.
4. I’m flaking from a previous engagement.
I don’t know why, but I get embarrassed for not showing up the first time and will just not face you again.
5. I’ve simply changed my mind.
6. I’m really an introvert. I rather spend time with just one person rather than 10. I prefer imitate settings with dark lighting, like my home.
I’d like to think of myself as a dependable person, however it’s hard to be trusted as such if you are known to flake. Even if it’s only amongst family and friends in social settings. As a business owner my reputuation is everything and as a person I strive to be better as well.
Here’s what I am working on.
1. Not agreeing to things right away.
2. Continuing to be there when it matters most. I may not come to a party, but If you need me I will be there. Ie; if you need a ride, you need to talk, as long as you don’t need money.
3. Practicing being impeccable with my word. If I say I am going to do something, I will do it. (Unless of course my peace is at stake)
4. Being true to myself & others.
I know that I don’t like to leave the house and that’s okay. This also means no excuses IF I do change my mind about going to a social event. I will simply say, “I apologize, but I can’t make it because of who I am.”
How to deal with flakey friends.
1. Let’s remember to talk to our friends and not just about them. If you have a flakey friend speak up! Many times in relationships we talk to everyone else about the problem and not the person you have the issue with.
2. Don’t assume people “should know better.” I was raised where promises were broken like Ikea Furniture so I’m learning the importance staying true to my word. I almost expect people to disappoint me, which is most likely why I disappoint others without intent.
3. Tell the person how their flaking makes you feel and if they still continue to flake on you, they probably just don’t like you. Leave them alone.
And don’t forget : There’s No Future in Fronting!
Thanks for reading.